waltz into the moonlight.

i've been delaying the inevitable for about an hour and a half. i don't want to go to work today, at all. completely unmotivated. at least it's only a 5 hour shift and not a full day. but still. i just want to go and pack my shit and hop on that plane to U2. i'm leaving early tomorrow morning, ahhh! i'll take my phone with me so i can update while i'm away. i'll be back on tuesday of next week. how exciting! no pictures until then, i'm afraid. not that you probably care, because they don't really add much anyway. but yeah.

last night my younger brother graduated from primary school. he's thirteen next month, and officially my height now. i'm afraid. the graduation ceremony was painful to say the least. it started at 5:30pm with a dinner in aqua restaurant (the lower level of jupiters casino/the old sheridan hotel) between three or four other families.. they raised the price of the bar from $30 to $45. i'd only finished work half an hour before arriving, so i had to run home, shower, jump into whatever clothing i could find and run into the car. since i looked like utter shit i decided it was more economical to just not eat dinner at all because i figured my mother would've argued with me about not looking decent and forced me to pay for my own food and i really can't afford $45 for sub par seafood and starch overload. they don't even have chocolate icecream there anymore. so i sat on facebook under the table just to get in mum's grills a little more, and we left for the ballroom.

fifteen gazillion rows of chairs inside, and a really crappy looking stage backed by chickenwire. yeah, chickenwire. the walls looked like someone had ripped out the roofing insulation and shoved it along the sides of the building to look semi-artsy. u so art deco, j00piterz. anyway, the predictable "we're so proud of everyone" speech from the widdle school captains, collectively around half an hour of really bad solo singing and ~orchestra, a slideshow of "highlights" (which consisted of kids jumping into pools, kids climbing out of mudslides and kids running a cross country track.. thutch great memorieth), and certificate distribution. WOO. that went on for three hours. after that, everyone bolted for the doors and we didn't escape from the place until like ten minutes after it finished. it was almost like a concert merchandise rush, it was mental! by this stage my stomach was trying to make its presence known, and we raced home. 85c pack of pasta and a dish of mashed potato later, and i was feeling fine. you really don't need to spend that much money on food. then i jumped on here, and pretty much fell straight asleep after a panadeine to relieve the migraine that tends to loom whenever i'm forced to sit politely and quietly for any lengthly period of time.

work wasn't even worth recounting, though it was a pretty wickedly fast shift! i spent most of it doing paperwork, which was awesome. i'd love an office job. well, i have to clean my infernal shitstorm living space now, and get ready for five hours of voluntary slavery. see you around, blog.

an instructional guide to maintaining your birdcage! EVOLVE TODAY!

there is nothing i hate more than cleaning bird cages. it brings out the true rage i know lies deep within my psyche in every possible manifestation of how my day pans out. say, blog, ever owned parrots, finches or budgerigars? they're lovely. truly. cleaning up after them, however, is not.

the moment you realise it's time for you to clean out the bird cages (which generally happens once a week with someone like my mother in the house), your descent into seemingly perpetual anger begins. EVERYTHING becomes difficult, frustrating and seemingly pointless. your cat will definitely want to play with you right now, there won't be any more garbage bags, you're out of coffee.. you name it. it's all out to bite you, and it will where it can.















you will need:
- sunlight
- unsoiled newspaper
- paper towels
- replacement bird food
- a hose
- a scrubbing brush and/or tough-backed kitchen mit
- patience
- adequate space

first you need to take everything out of the cages (excluding perches, those can be done at the end) like food and water dishes, toys, etc. wheel the cages out onto the grass, so that any organic stuff like poo and old food shells/fruit scraps that may unintentionally fall out the bottom of the cage don't end up sandwiched between the bricks, growing new plants. i'm serious, you wouldn't believe how fast those seeds begin shooting. we didn't realise that under the finch cage there was a mini ecosystem going on.

so after that's done, you want to go get your hose and give your birds a very light misting so they don't overheat while you've got them out in the sun. it helps their feathers too, and encourages preening. okay sweet, now take out the bottom tray where you lay your newspaper to catch bird-cage debris like crap, feathers and dropped food and roll the old newspapers up and chuck them in the garbage. take the garbage well away from your birds, and douse it with flyspray so any lingering fruit flies will die instead of just come back when there's more food. then chuck out the bag and re-line the bins. don't ever take that shit back inside with you.

now take the trays to where you're hosing down and grab that mit or scrubbing brush, and remove anything that may be stuck to the cage like food or poop. don't worry about changing your newspapers just yet - you need to clean the grills as well and you don't want your birds escaping, so go chuck those trays in for now and take out the grill that sits directly above the tray. go grab your scrubber and scrub all that poo off the grills.

if you're trying to do this while dealing with a psycho raging parent in tow, whose only main function at times like these is to clean every conceivable thing, a quick tip: you want to try and channel that rage into getting your jobs done more quickly. for example, get angry at something "not working", and it'll likely result in said parent adopting whatever job you're doing and the 'rage' personality trait will result in your job being done at 2x the speed you were doing it. fast, efficient, and minimal effort on your part. side effects of this method however may include the heightened rage in your parental figure being now focused upon yourself as it has nowhere else to travel (and it must leave the body), so try and utilise this method where and when you can to avoid this. if unnecessary rage persists, you probably shouldn't be living with the crazy fool and should consider moving out with your birds because putting up with it for 18 years is more than enough.

so where were we.. ah yes. clean tray and grills? sweet. go get some paper towel and dry the trays and grills and chuck the grills back into your cage, take the trays out and re-line them with fresh, unsoiled newspaper. if your perches need a scrub, do that too. okay sweet you're almost done, now you gotta wheel your birds back into the shade and put everything back inside the cage like your birds' toys and stuff. go replace all the water, seed, fruit, millet, etc.. whatever you're feeding your birds. hose down the area where the cage may have let any debris escape onto the ground, and you've got yourself some clean birdcages and probably happier birdies.