it's not like you killed someone.

when i argue a point of religion with my mother, we usually get nowhere because she's the kind of person who doesn't argue to the specifics of the issue at hand. instead of this:

our arguments always, without question, end up like this:

and i can't help but wonder to myself whether it's just the inner troll in me which keeps the argument going, for the sake of arguing. often, the subject of religion is not the point of the original argument, but a slice of the problematic cake that is my existence in her life. an odd metaphor, no? allow me to break it down for you:

our knowledge about this problem is that it's going to be one or more slices of this here cake of my apparent abundance of personality flaws:

however, my mother has this frustrating tendency to serve me up the entire cake when it comes to my attempts to reason with her and calmly explain why she is in fact entirely wrong. illustrated example.


and so all of my other apparent flaws somehow make me wrong for choosing to seek a more self-directed existence. "you're atheist and you're fat! look how fat you are! no wonder you have no friends!" and so we move away from point a, enter point b, and make our way around the whole alphabet until we both come to the conclusion that this argument will have no resolution because one side cannot listen and the other's opinion simply doesn't matter enough to be listened to.

wow, did i seriously just spend an hour talking about argument cakes?

so once i've had enough of the arguing, i'm left to contemplate silently my utter confusion surrounding how on earth this woman, let alone anyone out there with access to the global information database, could live a life without questioning the existence of and eventually moving forward from this profoundly stupid, dull lifestyle scam. ricky gervais said it best: 'do unto others' is a great rule of thumb. you won't burn in hell for all eternity, but be nice anyway. so that about sums up my thoughts at 5am monday morning. my father is on the phone to his work colleagues. it's a great time for those working in emergency management. so if you don't hear from me again before cyclone yasi annihilates us all: viva la disbelievers! yvette out!

without you it's a waste of time.

hey again, blog. it's been a little while since the last time we properly spoke. i'm back from a much needed respite. how have you been feeling? well gee, that's great, because i haven't been feeling so top notch. my sleeping patterns are totally ruined, work's cut my hours and the apple pie i made last night has a salty ass crust which is NOT ACCEPTABLE >:



so i basically pissed off for a while so i could deal with my pent up emotional rage somewhere that wasn't totally public and reminiscent of a more attention-seeking me, as i know how that tends to give some people the shits. but i'm back now, with the attitude that fuck them, it's my blog and i'll talk about what i like and you can deal with it. i go out of my way to draw you pictures, so you shut your whore mouth and just enjoy them okay? sweet.

now what have i been up to these last few days? anything of importance? to tell the truth not really, but that's okay because i can make up for my lack of exciting existence through storytelling. once upon a time, there was a cheapass establishment.. we'll call it psycho pete's discount furniture. said cheapass establishment decided to go out of its way and cut its staff budget right back, and some poor cheap labor kid who happened to work there had her hours sliced down to a feeble seven a week. now, poor cheap labor girl had just started to save for a goal of a certain amount of money. whatever could she do, now that her one source of income had been drastically watered down to basically nothing at all?



well not quite. she went and made ten thousand resumes and got a list of places she'd like to potentially work for, and decided that one of these days she's gonna go out there and get a better job. sigh, well. i've got nothing to report besides you've missed nothing. nothing's happened, i've felt nothing in the last few weeks but boredom and sheer hatred of man. i think it's definitely time i got a new job. and a life. but for now, i'm going to shower and prepare for a fun day of cleaning bird cages. my finches are nesting, did i tell you? my little green ones. it's cute, they're building a nest together. an adorable yet short-term, obligatory relationship but a relationship nonetheless. and i get to watch every minute of it, like a fifty-year-old singleton with ten cats and no children. such an exciting life i lead, no?



i'm off. sleep well blogspot; at least one of us can.

the future really isn't that far away.

sometimes i think about my future life as an educator of the young and wistful, and contemplate moving to foreign places where a phenomenon known as 'cold weather' can be readily experienced more than one month a year. i then begin to wonder if my class would pick up on the g'day mate accent riddled with my linguistic laziness, and ask about my native grounds. how would i explain such a place to them? these innocent younglings who have never seen such a hot day in their lives as the common 35 degreers we're used to here in townsville.. would they ask - a town? or a ville? or possibly a village turned town through population growth? then i realised the powerful potential i really had under my presumably pink beanie and it got me excited.



and then i realised such youth would not have had the privilege of growing up with aforementioned powerpuff girls. not likely, anyway. and my happy dreams floated out of my head as quickly as they'd entered. sigh.

PLASMA NADES, ERRYWHURR.

so, i was gearing up to play some halo:reach on my xbox 360, wishing i could go back to simpler times and play halo: combat evolved, or even halo 2.. when it hit me like a full magazine of pre-millenium needles.













if you're still not following by this point, basically i figured out i could still play my original xbox games on my xbox 360 console. it was a freakin' revelation! so of course i did what any yvette-minded simpleton would do and bolted out to the loungeroom to retrieve my copy of halo: combat evolved and played through the whole damn campaign. oh god. the messy warthog driving.. the marines and their little ID chips.. the creepy as all hell original soundtrack.. it was pure nostalgic bliss. i also noted two things that were funny to me, that i hadn't noticed before in the first couple of levels. in the pillar of autumn, while keyes is giving his speech about how he's going to try and land the autumn on the 'object' they found.. the screen he's referencing clearly says "HALO". they don't even know it's called halo at that point! trippy right? also. you know in the level 'halo' (lvl 2) how you have to activate the light bridge before you can continue through the cave structure? i never knew you could activate the bridge and just jump off the side, back down to the warthog. all this time i've been running right back around the way i came, meeting the 2 boss elites in the tunnel and everything. goddamn.

also, playing on 'normal' is like babysitting grunts. combat wise, halo CE is so much easier to work strategies around getting through the harder difficulties compared to reach. i feel like someone's given me a lollypop and asked me to take a wrapper off for 100G, to put it in perspective. which i probably didn't, because you're not a complete loser like me, but anyway. just thought i'd share my findings with you. i have work tomorrow. it's gonna suck. :(

cadbury survival instincts.

waltz into the moonlight.

i've been delaying the inevitable for about an hour and a half. i don't want to go to work today, at all. completely unmotivated. at least it's only a 5 hour shift and not a full day. but still. i just want to go and pack my shit and hop on that plane to U2. i'm leaving early tomorrow morning, ahhh! i'll take my phone with me so i can update while i'm away. i'll be back on tuesday of next week. how exciting! no pictures until then, i'm afraid. not that you probably care, because they don't really add much anyway. but yeah.

last night my younger brother graduated from primary school. he's thirteen next month, and officially my height now. i'm afraid. the graduation ceremony was painful to say the least. it started at 5:30pm with a dinner in aqua restaurant (the lower level of jupiters casino/the old sheridan hotel) between three or four other families.. they raised the price of the bar from $30 to $45. i'd only finished work half an hour before arriving, so i had to run home, shower, jump into whatever clothing i could find and run into the car. since i looked like utter shit i decided it was more economical to just not eat dinner at all because i figured my mother would've argued with me about not looking decent and forced me to pay for my own food and i really can't afford $45 for sub par seafood and starch overload. they don't even have chocolate icecream there anymore. so i sat on facebook under the table just to get in mum's grills a little more, and we left for the ballroom.

fifteen gazillion rows of chairs inside, and a really crappy looking stage backed by chickenwire. yeah, chickenwire. the walls looked like someone had ripped out the roofing insulation and shoved it along the sides of the building to look semi-artsy. u so art deco, j00piterz. anyway, the predictable "we're so proud of everyone" speech from the widdle school captains, collectively around half an hour of really bad solo singing and ~orchestra, a slideshow of "highlights" (which consisted of kids jumping into pools, kids climbing out of mudslides and kids running a cross country track.. thutch great memorieth), and certificate distribution. WOO. that went on for three hours. after that, everyone bolted for the doors and we didn't escape from the place until like ten minutes after it finished. it was almost like a concert merchandise rush, it was mental! by this stage my stomach was trying to make its presence known, and we raced home. 85c pack of pasta and a dish of mashed potato later, and i was feeling fine. you really don't need to spend that much money on food. then i jumped on here, and pretty much fell straight asleep after a panadeine to relieve the migraine that tends to loom whenever i'm forced to sit politely and quietly for any lengthly period of time.

work wasn't even worth recounting, though it was a pretty wickedly fast shift! i spent most of it doing paperwork, which was awesome. i'd love an office job. well, i have to clean my infernal shitstorm living space now, and get ready for five hours of voluntary slavery. see you around, blog.

product placement.

also, i forgot to include this funny conversation i had today with dylan. after i'd woken up feeling like crap and wanting energy drinks, i proclaimed my sugarlust. he blankly stared at me for about five seconds before i realised just how retarded that last statement sounded as i replayed it in my head from his perspective.



i then proceeded to laugh and imagine what he would've thought had i said ANY of the alternatives.









..maybe it's just me who thinks of cher whenever "V" is mentioned.

what?!

so i got brotherhood today.

sometimes i think to myself, what would life be like if i actually was the central figure in all the games i play? no, really! how wicked would it be to go around your business knowing you could just scale a wall or jump to three times your height in real life? gosh. i'd love to be an assassin and all, but i'm kind of a girl, so i'd have to be a girl character. how many female characters are there out there anyway?

..well i was going more for the types that don't hugely objectify women, and for that matter ones that aren't completely artificial.

oh well. i guess my dream will never be realised. i guess i could always just put on a body suit and nobody would be any the wiser to my conspicuous gender identity issues. D: i could be eleanor lamb, big sister style!

she's cool, right?



ahh. looks like i'm stuck being crappy old yvette for some time yet. at least until they discover the adam slug is real, and we all start splicing. aw, i don't want to escape! i'm content here. on second thoughts..i hope the gaming universe never meets this one. :| humanity is doomed.

well, today's been crappy. the work christmas party was cancelled due to predicted storms which never happened; it didn't even rain, i woke up feeling completely hungover from lack of water and sleep the day before (i'm assuming that's what a hangover feels like) and my airconditioning remote was taken away so we're back to living in this squalor of heat and filth. i hate townsville so much, it's so disgustingly hot. my family is a real case too. no airconditioning in november? rocks in the head. anyway, i got my copy of assassin's creed: brotherhood today (on a more positive note!) and it's fun so far, i'm up to dna sequence 3. i'd forgotten how friggen' cute ezio is. *swoon*

i also got a t-shirt with my pre-order (at least harvey norman managed to get my name right, but they'd put aside a PS3 copy for me, wtf!), which was cool. though i'd advise you to buy it from big w if you want the best price. big w is $74.97, harvey is $84.99. i just wanted the shirt, lol. so yeah, fixed the birds outside.. did nothing with my day essentially.

might have something more interesting to inform you of come tomorrow, or the next day. ciao for now.

p.s. does somebody want to renew my copy of flash cs5? >: