oh internet, don't look at me like that. the difference between us is that you have approximately five days before you start to lag and lose interest in what it is you're doing. i have about 4 hours of awake time per day that i'm at my best, and it just so happens i'm in that space right now. my sleeping patterns are still fucked up since the last time we spoke; i've been going to bed at like 6am every night and sleeping through the whole day, staying up the next night until my shift at work starts and coming home to bomb out and wake up at some obscene hour of the early morning. such is the life of the university student on holidays.
that's a generalization, i'm sorry. it's probably not that standard, i'm just a lazy shit. anyway. i haven't really been getting up to much of late besides sleeping, playing halo reach and continuing to save for my piano. i currently have $800 of $2000. feels good to almost be halfway there. i feel kind of bad now because i said i'd be awake and head over to dylan's place this afternoon. i needed to nap because he was doing something or other and i didn't know when he'd be free, so i told my brother to wake me up at 8pm. my brother didn't wake me at 8pm. i woke up when i had my bag of groceries thrown onto my inanimate sleeping corpse (promptly disturbing that state of being) and heard the remains of my mother's bitching about the food i buy when she has perfectly good food in the fridge. at 12:46am. i just figured i'd be nice and allow her to have more of her tasteless stew for herself and the family. i'm a big kid now. she reminds me enough of that fact enough.
so in other news, i'm still hunting for a second job. my chances of gaining extra employment were looking much brighter upon the recommendation of a dear friend of mine about a possible job vacancy i could fill, but i don't have my hopes suspended very high. my mother was telling me about a girl i'm not going to name who got a job recently at a place i applied for. this particular girl has every fucking developmental disorder possible, but she can communicate somewhat. it's not fair. i could work that job four times as efficiently, and yet they're handing out job positions for people who quite frankly aren't fit to work them to their best potential, to the obvious detriment of the company. it's stupid, and i'm bitter about it. so i should be. maybe i should put that on my resume. "vegetable, but i'm pretty nice, guys." cue letter of interview.
anyway, i'm not stressing too much about it right now. i'm on holidays, and stress is something i'm postponing until such a time as it's inevitable consuming force weighs down on me and sends me into a stupor like last year. i'm actually hoping that won't happen, but who knows. i'm abandoning the concept of 'new years resolutions', and opting instead to achieve daily goals. they're easier to work towards and if i fulfill them in time, that means every day i have something to feel good about. oh blog. where have my friends gone? one of them disappeared interstate, and i totally didn't know. i saw the leaving party photos on facebook and it served as the reminder that they don't need me now. perhaps they never did. i promised i wouldn't start talking about this again because it's negative and goes nowhere, plus i get the fucking crap stalked right out of me these days, but i do have to mention as a necessary undertone to this paragraph that i'm disappointed. and now that i've made my point, i'll start a new paragraph:
and remind myself that sure, they may have given up on me, that doesn't make me any less fucking brilliant right? so my dear friends, i would like to extend the arm of friendship to you both as a one-fingered salute to highschool drama and a kind gesture to the future, because i want to feel good about myself this year. besides;
:)
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